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If I Am the Leader, Then Why Am I So Anxious?

Writer's picture: Mark ReidMark Reid

In this article, the Power of NLP, Hypnosis, and One-to-One Coaching is explored in relation to leadership, confidence, resilience, and decisiveness, which are commonly viewed as essential qualities. However, even accomplished leaders may encounter feelings of nervousness, self-doubt, or impostor syndrome despite their success.


So, if you’ve reached a senior position and still find yourself plagued with anxiety, you’re not alone. The real question is: how can you manage these feelings effectively and genuinely without pretending to be someone you’re not? In this article, we explore how Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), hypnosis, and one-to-one coaching can help leaders transform nervousness into a powerful, authentic leadership style.


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Leadership skills can be coached

Leadership Anxiety: A Common Reality


Initially, it is important to recognise that it is perfectly normal to feel anxious when in a leadership position. The responsibility of making decisions, overseeing teams, and facing continuous evaluation can understandably result in feelings of anxiety. Leaders, particularly those in high-pressure situations, frequently encounter Impostor Syndrome, which manifests as a belief that their accomplishments are not entirely earned or that they could be revealed as a 'fraud'. Research suggests that up to 70% of top performers have encountered these emotions at some stage in their professional lives.


NLP: Rewiring the Leader's Mind


NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is a powerful tool for leaders seeking to transform their mindset. It works by exploring the connections between neurological processes, language, and behavioural patterns formed through past experiences. By using NLP, leaders can reframe their thought processes, replace negative self-talk, and visualise successful outcomes.


Example: Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, has often spoken about how he uses NLP techniques to manage his mindset. Known for his fearless approach, Branson has admitted to using NLP-based visualisation to mentally prepare himself for high-pressure situations, from business negotiations to physical challenges like his transatlantic balloon flight. NLP has helped him focus on the language and mental imagery that foster confidence and determination rather than self-doubt.


One effective NLP technique is anchoring, where a leader can associate a positive emotional state with a physical gesture or word. By practising this regularly, leaders can activate this state when they feel anxious, such as before a major presentation or negotiation. This technique is particularly useful for maintaining composure and projecting confidence even when feeling nervous internally.


Coaching Tip: Leaders can work with a coach to identify specific anchors, such as tapping their fingers together or using a calming word, to trigger feelings of calm and focus during high-stress moments.


Hypnosis: Unlocking the Subconscious Mind


Mind Programming is another approach that has gained traction among leaders. Hypnosis focuses on accessing the subconscious mind to reprogram limiting beliefs and reinforce positive behaviours. Hypnosis and guided visualisation techniques can help leaders mentally rehearse scenarios where they need to display confidence, thus reducing anxiety and building genuine self-belief.


Example: Andrew Flintoff, the former England cricket captain, openly shared his experience using hypnosis to overcome anxiety and boost performance. Flintoff used these techniques to build focus and maintain a calm state of mind during crucial moments, showing how leaders in sports and business can harness similar tools to manage stress. Hypnosis helped him develop strategies to shift his mindset from nervousness to a state of readiness and confidence, both on and off the pitch.


Research published in the British Journal of Clinical Hypnosis suggests that hypnosis has the potential to lower anxiety levels, improve focus, and foster positive connections with difficult circumstances. When used appropriately by a qualified practitioner, hypnosis can assist individuals in altering their reactions to stress and boosting self-assurance on a subconscious level.


The Impact of One-to-One Coaching


While NLP and hypnosis are powerful techniques, their effectiveness often multiplies when integrated into a personalised coaching programme. One-to-one coaching offers leaders a confidential, supportive environment where they can explore and transform their nervousness into a strength. Coaches trained in NLP or hypnosis can work with leaders to identify specific triggers and patterns, using tailored techniques to help them develop a more resilient mindset.


Example: Baroness Karren Brady, vice-chairman of West Ham United and a leading figure in UK business, has advocated for the benefits of coaching throughout her career. Despite her confidence and success, Brady has shared how one-to-one coaching sessions helped her develop emotional agility, providing her with tools to handle pressure, public scrutiny, and critical decision-making with poise. She highlights that personalised coaching not only improves professional performance but also enhances personal well-being by offering leaders strategies tailored to their individual needs.


A study published in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology reveals that leaders who participate in consistent coaching exhibit enhanced emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and adaptability. Such leaders are more proficient in managing stress and anxiety, turning these emotions into practical insights and growth-oriented strategies.


Authenticity Versus Pretending: The Real Confidence Builder


One of the biggest mistakes nervous leaders make is pretending to be more confident than they feel. This façade not only increases stress but also creates a disconnect between the leader and their team. Authentic leaders embrace vulnerability and transparency, which fosters trust and strengthens relationships within their teams.


Brené Brown, a researcher and advocate of authentic leadership, argues that vulnerability is the true strength behind effective leadership. When leaders acknowledge their uncertainties, it encourages open dialogue, innovation, and collaboration, making their leadership more impactful. Pretending to be something you’re not, however, not only deepens the sense of impostor syndrome but also prevents leaders from building genuine connections.


By working with a coach trained in NLP and hypnosis, leaders can learn to be more authentic in their approach. This allows them to embrace their vulnerabilities as strengths, use them to relate to their teams, and turn anxiety into a source of motivation rather than fear.


Practical Strategies for Leaders: NLP, Hypnosis, and Coaching


1. NLP Reframing: Use coaching sessions to identify and reframe negative self-talk. Replace phrases like “I don’t belong here” with “I’ve earned my place through hard work and can continue to grow.” Regular practice of reframing language will shift your mindset from fear to empowerment.


2. Hypnotic Visualisation: Work with a coach trained in hypnosis to create guided visualisation sessions that help you mentally rehearse upcoming challenges. This practice can significantly lower anxiety levels by making you feel prepared and confident.


3. Anchoring Techniques: Develop and refine NLP anchoring techniques. Practice using a subtle gesture that triggers a state of calm before high-pressure events. With repetition, this technique can become a powerful tool for managing nervousness.


4. Embrace Authenticity: Commit to being transparent about your vulnerabilities when appropriate. This doesn’t mean oversharing but rather showing that you are open to collaboration and feedback, which builds trust and a culture of openness within your organisation.


Conclusion: Transform Nervousness Into Leadership Power


Anxiety in leadership is not a flaw; it is a signal of growth and high responsibility. The key is to channel it productively. Techniques like NLP, hypnosis, and one-to-one coaching provide practical strategies for transforming nerves into a genuine source of strength and confidence. By embracing authentic leadership, leaders can build trust, resilience, and the confidence to lead effectively—without pretending to be someone they are not.


Ultimately, the path to overcoming nervousness isn’t about eliminating it but about learning how to navigate it. When leaders are supported through coaching and effective techniques, they can turn their anxieties into a tool for personal and professional growth, leading with authenticity and impact.


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Author: Mark Tanchoco Reid, Founder of MTR Performance Coaching

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References


1. Bandler, R., & Grinder, J. (1975). The Structure of Magic. Science and Behavior Books.

2. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin.

3. Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). "The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention." Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.

4. Goldsmith, M. (2007). What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful. Hyperion.

5. Hammond, D.C. (1990). "Hypnosis in the Treatment of Anxiety." British Journal of Clinical Hypnosis.

  1. European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology, Volume 24, Issue 5 (2015).

  2. Brady, K. (2013). Strong Woman: The Truth About Getting to the Top. HarperCollins UK.

  3. Interviews: "Baroness Karren Brady on Business Leadership." BBC Radio 4. (2018)

  4. Flintoff, A. (2015). Second Innings: My Sporting Life. Hodder & Stoughton.

  5. Branson, R. (2017). Finding My Virginity: The New Autobiography. Virgin Books


Medical Disclaimer: The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified medical professional with any health questions you may have. Do not begin a new medical regimen, or ignore the advice of a medical professional, as a result of information contained within this website.

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